Hello again!
Have you read the last piece? I took a break from here for the month of July because I got caught up in the process of adjusting to a new job, and an entirely different work schedule. An entirely different way of interacting with the world. Of viewing the world almost.
Starting out as a doctor has really required a lot from me. And in ways that I find to be surprising. For example, it is amazing how a lot of the work I need to do involves managing other peoples’ emotions. I am very surprised by this.
And I don’t mean emotions like the usual angst and grief people might experience around being ill. I mean, dealing with very odd aspects of human personality. The parts that come out when people are in a situation they do not think they should be in. When they are still in that early state of denial that anything is wrong.
When they would just rather revert to a more basal way of thinking, and emoting, than deal with the problem head on.
Being human, is such an interesting experience, and viewing it from this angle has shown me a lot of things that I am still trying to process. Trying to understand.
It has required a lot of learning, and relearning from me.
THE COMPLEXITY OF BEING HUMAN
It is hard to be a human being sometimes.
I mean, it isn’t all sunshine and easy breezy moments.
The past two or so months have shown me that.
And also, I think it is very difficult to navigate the negative emotions of others. When they are just dealing with a lot, and you happen to be there, in the cross fire, being made subject to deal with their angst and general upsetness.
Yes, we will use upsetness as a word.
I don’t even think I have learnt fully well how to deal with people when they are upset. I mean, I know how to deal with myself when I am hungry – take a break, remove myself from the situation. Maybe get something to eat (that works a lot more than it should ha-ha). And generally, remain calm. I do everything better when I am calm.
But with other people, well, it is just not an equation I have ever fully understood how to write. How to solve for that X that doesn’t minimize the issue, but also doesn’t propagate it. Make the person angrier.
There is this poem by Mary Oliver about anxiety.
It was about how she worried about this and that – you know, will everything be good tomorrow, will I figure out this and that? Will I get sick? Will I get to keep doing the things I love and remain with the people I love?
Those sorts of things.
I think eventually the poem ends on the note of realization that all that worrying did nothing. It added nothing. It was pointless almost. And maybe a bit comical how purposeless she made worrying seem.
I am not sure how it translate to dealing with other peoples’ anxieties. But it does put into perspective that there are only so many things you have control over – and other people’s emotions is not one of them.
You can’t be anxious about that. Or think this and that correction might do the trick. Sometimes, just show up and be there for the people you have to show up for. Even if it is hard. It is necessary work. A necessary good.
I am still trying to do this.
This piece is going to be really short.
I have been busy, and all of the wonderful free time I have right now, I am using it to get as much rest as I can. And take care of the person that brings this blog post to you.
How has August been?
How are you feeling? Who are you loving on and being there for right now? (Even if it is just you).
Let me know in the comment section.
As always, take care!