Braver Than

#ImBack

The last piece I wrote on the blog was about Valentine’s Day.

It is something that I still enjoy going back to read, to look over. It was about love, in all of its many forms, in all of the many ways that it is important.

And I have been away from here for some weeks, doing something I love. Something a lot of my readers will/might know about. Something that I’m pretty excited to announce officially soon. It will be its own blog post. Look out for that!

In the meanwhile, how has it been since this note on love?

Have you opened your heart out to love something new? To love something old, in a deeper way?

Despite being away for a short while, my love for writing is still intact. And when I went to read through the Valentines’ piece, I came upon something about love being brave.

I’ve noticed that it is a quality of love that gets glossed over very easily when mentioning the attributes of love… that it is kind, sweet, fulfilling. But there truly isn’t anything braver than love.

And that is what I want to talk about in this piece; the simple act of being brave. Or, the very chilling, and nerve-wracking act of being brave. (if we are being honest ha-ha)

Remaining calm under pressure is something that is very difficult to do for most people. But it is so deeply necessary. That we remain calm, patient, kind in the face of our most frightening obstacles. That we remain brave, especially in defending what we love, what is more important than that?

How Do You Fight … For What You Love?

Around last month, I re-watched the Oscar nominated (and winning) movie, Everything, Everywhere, All at Once.

If you are a fan of realist-type science fiction, or multiple universes intersecting, then this movie is for you.

Anyways, in the weeks leading up to the Oscars, I saw a lot of tweets, social media posts, etc. that highlighted things I might not have noticed at first in the movie.

For me, the stand out bit is when the character Waymond declares this to his troubled, cranky and self-disappointed wife.

You tell me that it is a cruel world … and I know that

(I can see it too)

When I choose to see the good side of things, I’m not being naïve

It is strategic and necessary, how I learned to survive through everything.

And then, this line….

I know you see yourself as a fighter, well, I see myself as one too

This is how I fight.

All of this was going on in the backdrop of a pretty intense fight scene. Which made me feel even more appreciative that the movie could deliver a line like that …. This is how I fight, and it didn’t sound cheesy, or sentimental or like the audience is being pandered to.

This is how i fight (through loving, through kindness and remaining gentle)

It felt true. It felt vital. It almost made me cry. (And I was re-watching it in public Ha-ha)

It is the love that Waymond had for his wife, for his family that shifted the whole progression of the movie, somehow his wife was able to see the craziness of all of the in-fighting with her daughter, with enemies from different universes, and do what needed to be done, to show up for her child who was literally considering ending her own existence… because she felt unloved.

Relationships do require a lot of consideration for them to work out. A lot of communication, a lot of patience. But they also require a lot of bravery.

It isn’t easy to put yourself out there, whether it is for romantic or platonic relationships, or for work relationships, you need courage to show up. And to remain present. To continue to give your best to it. And really, maybe it also takes a lot of courage to believe that it all matters in the randomness, in the cruelness of the world that we see every day.

I hope that we can be brave! It really is worth it.

In Other News...

So… while I have been away, here are some of the things I have been pre-occupied with. Take it as a quick round up of where my mind has been this past month.

1) I have been listening to A LOT of Mariah Carey.

My two favourites are EMOTIONS and Vision of Love. Both of them are older than me (Ha-ha). However, good music is good music. And they have been on repeat day in, day out.

2) I read this amazing short story by Wole Talabi titled A Dream of Electric Mothers.

It is sci-fi (am I detecting a trend in what I have been enjoying lately), and it is based on an alternate-present day reality where Africa didn’t get colonized, and we got to form our own advanced technology.

The technology in this story is an odd hypnotic dream state that can be induced, and lets the seven ‘elders’ ruling a kingdom have access to the stored consciousness of every ancestor that has ever lived in the kingdom.

It reminded me a bit of Black Panther, in how the technology is written around the pre-colonial ideologies that Africans had. But the story is really its own thing, it is ultimately an exploration of grief, of identity, of love. Of being brave enough to ask questions about the things and people that we love. Give it a read! It was nominated for the prestigious Nebula award.

3) I also read a very chaotic novel, whose title I will not be sharing because it was just a lot. Ha-ha. But it did entertain me while I read it… mostly. And if you want to know the book, send me a DM!

4) I wrote about Nigeria’s elections. I am not happy with how it turned out, for very obvious reasons to anyone who actually observed them. You can find more about my thoughts in this essay I wrote for The Republic. I really hope we get free and fair elections in this country. Elections that are violence free. That are honest.

5) Finally, in the past week, I have taken a lot of walks, sat down for hours talking with friends, and I am working to get back to my normal, very calm life. Especially after …. Well, you’ll find out once I announce it!

Thank you so much for being a part of this blog!

You come here and read my work, share it, comment on it. It’s lovely.

I hope you have been doing well since my last piece. And I am curious, how have you been?

How have you been strengthening love lately? Whether the love you have for your art, for your person, for yourself, for your work, tell me about it in the comments. I’d love to hear from you again.