I just looked up one day, and it was the middle of September.
Which means… the year is almost over. I can’t believe it has been nine months since I wrote the first blog post of the year to you.
This year has been such a mix. So many things that I didn’t believe I could do, I did without breaking too much of a sweat or without so much anxiety. Other things I am used to doing pretty easily, I found so hard to do. Not to mention adjusting to the retinue of my new profession.
And trying to balance that out with having real moments of joy, of remaining creative. It has been a challenge in many ways.
And I don’t feel discouraged, but I do feel like I need a lot of rest.
That is partly what this blog post today will be about. The other thing I want to talk about is how it feels to be standing here in this moment, looking back at this almost completed year, and wondering about all of the things that have happened so far; the things to be grateful for, things that need to be worked on, things that need to be hoped for, and maybe things that need to be done away with.
What I am reflecting on right now, is how much I miss having just… time. Like, time to just be myself, and not be tossed to and fro by this person or that situation needing my attention.
This year feels so different with all of the new responsibilities. I remember how last year I was in the warm belly of just enjoying what I liked to call domestic lit. Those boring, everyday pleasures that healed something deep inside of me – that made me perhaps strong enough to go through everything I have gone through this year. And to do so without despair.
It felt good to have time to do things at my own pace. I really don’t like hectic paces. That is something I have really, really established about myself.
IN ALL OF THESE…
I do hope that we can find ways to encourage ourselves. Particularly, to encourage ourselves to get some rest. It feels like my responsibilities tripled and the time I have to myself quartered in size. It makes for an odd equation to balance out. And I do hope that I solve it.
One solution I have found is that I can just take a much needed creative break. For the next weeks, I will be trying my best to not create anything. Or even to work on too many ideas in my mind. I will just endeavor to spend my free time doing things like eating ice=cream, or meandering about on a lovely evening walk. Maybe even practice some new makeup looks I have been loving on Pinterest.
It means you will likely only get one or two blog posts from me in October. But you will definitely get at least one. I will drag myself joyfully to my computer and let you know how my rest is going.
And, hopefully, how I have been thinking about all of the very many ways we can encourage ourselves in these odd times.
SOME THINGS THAT HAVE BEEN ON MY MIND.
Here’s some things that I have been thinking about lately.
· Lorde’s latest newsletter where she was so vulnerable, and honest about how odd the year has been for her. I do love her work, and I hope she gets better. It seems like a lot, but I think about the reactions some people had, ecstatic that they would get a heartbreak album like Melodrama again. And it has reminded me that we, artists, non-artists, are more than what we create.
· This is dark but; the house officers in Nigeria that have died because of a failed system that doesn’t prioritize… anything really. Young men and women, having to pay the ultimate price like that, for what? All of this news is sobering, and it has made me evaluate how much of myself I am willing to give to my work. At the end of the day, Toni Morrison’s idea that ‘the work you do is not who you are, you are who you are’. Sounds so valid and needed today.
· This newly released Nollywood movie The Black book, was an interesting one. And you should definitely go and watch it. There is so much drama, the fight scenes are epic, plus it has a really strong plot.
· I got an acceptance for a piece I wrote at the very end of May. I looked through my notes app and saw that I wrote into it on my birthday too. Odd, since I do my best not to work on my birthdays. It is one of my favourite things I have written this year. It is so soft, and powerful and heartfelt. Once it’s out on Gone Lawn, the magazine that will publish it, I will definitely let you know.
There are still a lot of other things on my mind, and I don’t even know how to juggle all of them. Because I always remember something that I should have been thinking about, and realize I should have done something about it (Ha-ha)
I do hope you are taking care. I will see you in October.
Comentários